Lucy, Erin and Acer’s story
Children’s Grief Awareness Week 2025
‘I know the children will carry the techniques they’ve learned at Blythe House through life. I feel so lucky we’ve been able to come here; I honestly don’t know what we would have done without the hospice’s support.’
Lucy’s children, Erin, 8, and Acer, 6, attended Blythe House for counselling following the sudden and unexpected death of their beloved Daddy, Paul, from heart failure in December 2024.
Lucy said: ‘Paul was absolutely hilarious and had an amazing knack of seeing the funny side of pretty much everything. He would have a room full of people in hysterics, he was truly one of a kind.
‘The children were with their Dad when he collapsed and Erin phoned an ambulance. We had grief to cope with, but also the trauma of the ordeal they went through when he died. Blythe House helped us to navigate through this awfully traumatic experience.
‘I have very good friends and family but when this tragedy happened I felt alone knowing that they hadn’t experienced anything like this themselves. Even with my own experience of working with children I felt out of my depth and desperate to be who they needed me to be and say the things they needed to hear.
‘It was the children’s school that directed us to Blythe House. When the hospice said it could help, I suddenly felt a weight lifted and realised I wasn’t alone. The guidance and support we’ve received has been a light at the end of the tunnel. They’re like a cup of tea when you really need one – a peaceful space to access invaluable help and advice from experienced counsellors. I feel so lucky we’ve been able to come here; I honestly don’t know what we would have done without the hospice’s support.
‘Erin has found it really hard to talk about what happened. Her counsellor encouraged her to draw things instead. Just the other night at bedtime, she was feeling anxious, so we got her journal out and did some drawing together. Her mood lifted, and I could see the anxiety ease.’
‘The children have taught me so much about grief. They are so resilient. A Blythe House counsellor explained that children “puddle jump” during grief – they’ll sit and cry one moment, then notice a ray of sunshine and suddenly be happy again. I’ve struggled with staying in a river of grief, but the children have shown me these coping mechanisms.
‘They’ve created their own memory boxes at Blythe House, which they can access at home whenever they think about their Daddy or when they’re upset. They’ve filled them with things from their counselling sessions, plus other meaningful items. They both have coloured sand representing different memories. When we got home, we wrote down what each colour meant so they wouldn’t forget.
‘Acer’s box is full of random pipe cleaners – he fiddles with them, and it really helps when he’s upset or anxious. The other day, I heard him telling his cousin: “If you ever feel angry or sad, you can twiddle these around your fingers, and it really helps!”
‘Despite the heartbreak and trauma of Paul’s death, I know the children will carry the techniques they’ve learned at Blythe House through life. Sometimes they’re angry or shocked, but they can draw on these tools to cope. The other night, Erin decided to make a boat to sail through her grief, explaining who was on board. Even that activity helped me; it lifted me out of the depths of grief, and we had a lovely time just creating and playing together.’
