‘It’s like fate brought us together.’
Andrea and Maria became both volunteers and friends in June 2025, when they started supporting our Matlock shop following the deaths of their beloved husbands, Peter and Alan, earlier in the year.
Both couples were supported by the hospice’s Roaming Car team, enabling Peter and Alan to die in the comfortable and familiar surroundings of their own homes in Matlock.
Andrea and Maria didn’t know each other before their volunteering roles, but as Andrea said: ‘It’s like fate brought us together.’
The pair support the shop on Bank Road weekly, and enjoy other activities together including visiting coffee shops, playing Scrabble, and whist.
Retired nursery and infant schoolteacher, Andrea explained: ‘Peter and I were together for over a quarter of a century and married in 2003. Peter had stage four live cancer and was fast tracked* out of hospital in March 2025 to be at home as he neared the end of his life. The hospital nurses informed me of the Blythe House Roaming Car service, and I will be completely honest that I had never heard of the hospice until I saw the shop open in Matlock in August 2024. The fact that it runs the Roaming Car service is just remarkable.
‘It was so reassuring for me to know that someone was available to come and support Peter and I during the night. The nurses were absolutely amazing, providing the support we genuinely needed. They gave Peter injections for pain management and made him comfortable. One of the nurses was also able to prepare me for his passing as she told me how poorly he was, and I was able to say goodbye to him properly. When Peter died, they came back to certify his death and did it with such dignity and respect. The Roaming Car nurses ensured Peter was able to die at home as he so wished; and that I felt fully supported to care for him and make sure that happened.
‘I did say soon after Peter had died that I wanted to give something back to the hospice, and volunteering at the shop is my way of doing that. I saw a sign in the window looking for volunteers and I called in to speak to Sue [the shop manager]. My volunteering role has given me a purpose in life following Peter’s death; it’s good to be able to get out of the house and to know I am making a difference to other local families.
‘I have made some really good friends through my role, including Maria. We have been able to talk through our feelings and really support each other. Often people will say “I know how you feel” but they very often don’t as they haven’t been through the same; whereas with Maria, we can really talk through our memories, worries and sentiments, knowing we fully understand each other. It’s like fate brought us together.
Andrea (L) and Maria (R)
‘I regularly support the shop on Thursdays but am always happy to pick up shifts where needed. Sometimes, I help out at weekends as that’s when I find I struggle most with missing Peter. During the week, I’ve usually always got something on, but weekends feel different when you’re at home on your own, so I am happy to help at the shop and keep myself busy.
‘It is a real pleasure to give back to the hospice that supported us when Peter was poorly; knowing that I am doing my little bit to make a difference to other local people who might be in our position is very important to me.’
Maria met Alan when she was 19 years old and had been married to the retired firefighter for over 50 years when he complained of feeling confused and dizzy during a holiday to Tenerife in December 2024.
The hotel called a doctor, and Alan was transferred to hospital where it was discovered he had a brain tumour. The couple ended up staying in Tenerife for five weeks whilst Alan underwent surgery, and their daughter Sarah flew out to be with them.
Alan was finally able to come home in January 2025, with Sarah, who is an occupational therapist, and Maria, caring for him at home alongside Rachel, Maria and Alan’s other daughter, who came over from Australia to look after her dad during his final weeks.
Maria explained: ‘We coped very well with caring for Alan at home. He could look out of the window at the beautiful view of Riber Castle, and he was so happy to be at home. With Sarah’s knowledge, she was able to help with all manner of items and equipment to support him at home. We didn’t get a hospital bed as I wanted to be able to sleep next to Alan and be near him.
‘It was the nights when I felt I just needed that extra support. They can be so long and lonely when you’re caring for someone at the end of their life. Knowing the Roaming Car nurses were at the end of the phone and could come to see us very quickly, was a lifeline. On one occasion, they came to administer medication to Alan and as they were leaving for their next visit, the nurse said she’d call me and check in on their way back through Matlock to see if we needed anything else. She rang me at midnight, and Alan was thankfully settled and comfortable, so they didn’t need to come back on that occasion, but that kindness, that genuine support, even though it was only so little, it really did mean the world to me.
‘Alan died peacefully at home in February 2025. I am so glad and grateful we were able to fulfil his wishes to die at home, otherwise he would’ve had to go into a hospital, and I know he desperately didn’t want that.
‘I knew not long after Alan’s death that I wanted to give something back to Blythe House. Like Andrea, I had seen the shop open in the town in 2024 and had done a bit of research on it as I always like to support hospice charities. I had been in a few times to have a nosey. I never realised at the time that within a few months I would be using the services as Alan died.
‘I started volunteering at the shop to give me a purpose following Alan’s death. We’d been together for such a long time, it’s very hard to adjust to life without him, but coming to the shop has really helped me and it does take my mind off things. Andrea and I are so grateful to Sue for putting us together on a shift and we have become very good friends – we are able to talk honestly to each other and understand how each other is feeling. We’re always happy to pick up extra shifts if we can too, to support the shop on days it would otherwise have to close.
‘Everyone needs to know about the work of Blythe House Hospice. We are so lucky to have this amazing service in our community and me volunteering is just my small way to give back for everything they did for Alan and I.’
Find out more about volunteering at Blythe House Hospice
