Derek and Judith’s story
‘We couldn’t do without Blythe House’
Derek and Judith had been married for 57 years. When they celebrated their golden wedding anniversary in 2019, they asked friends and family to make donations to Blythe House Hospice in lieu of presents. Little did they know how much the hospice would one day be able to support them both.
Within just two weeks of sharing his story in October 2026, Derek very sadly died. We are incredibly grateful to Judith for choosing to continue and share their experiences with others. She feels it’s important for people to understand what Blythe House Hospice does, and the support available to patients and their loved ones.
Derek, a former retained firefighter for more than 20 years who also spent time as a pub landlord, was diagnosed with idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis (IPF) in 2022. The condition, which causes scarring of the lungs and makes breathing increasingly difficult, began to have a greater impact on his life in November 2025. With frequent hospital admissions and his health deteriorating, Derek knew what mattered most to him: staying at home.
Following a referral to Blythe House Hospice in 2025, Derek and Judith began receiving support tailored to their changing needs, helping Derek to remain as comfortable and independent as possible, whilst giving Judith some much-needed time to herself.
Support to make life easier
Miriam, hospice Occupational Therapist, and Angela, our Physiotherapist visited Derek at home. They assessed his home environment and offered practical advice, including breathing techniques to help him manage his breathlessness.
Derek relied on oxygen full-time, and living with his condition meant making significant adjustments to everyday life. Having support from the hospice team helped him and Judith navigate these changes together.
Alongside the support at home, Derek was referred to Blythe House Hospice’s Fatigue, Anxiety and Breathlessness (FAB) group. He found the sessions particularly beneficial, giving him practical ways to manage his symptoms and helping him feel less alone in what he was experiencing.
He also attended the hospice’s Thursday afternoon patient Peer Support group, which quickly became an important part of his week. He said: ‘I really enjoy coming here. It’s a chance to get out of the house, meet new people and have someone to talk to. I like finding out where people have come from and what they’ve done in their careers. Everyone has their own story, and it’s good to sit and have a chat.’
For Judith, seeing her husband enjoy time at the hospice was just as valuable: ‘He’d come here every day if you let him! It’s somewhere he can come, enjoy himself and talk to people. That makes such a difference.’
Respite care to support Judith too
Living with a life-limiting condition affects more than the person diagnosed. For Judith, supporting Derek became a central part of daily life, drawing on her own experience of caring for others.
She spent 30 years as a carer and previously worked as an auxiliary nurse in residential homes in Glossop. Caring for people has always been a big part of her life, but looking after her husband as his health changed was a very different experience.
Judith said: ‘It’s been a complete change of life for us both. You hear friends talking about the lovely time they’ve had on a cruise, and you realise that life is very different for you now. You just have to adjust to things and make the best of what you’ve got.’
Through Blythe House Hospice’s Hospice at Home service, a healthcare assistant visited Derek each week to help him have a shower. This practical support was important for Derek’s comfort and dignity, but it also gave Judith the opportunity to take a break without worrying about him: ‘The respite really did mean I could relax; I could watch the television or have a nap, knowing that Derek was being looked after. When you’re caring for someone all the time, it’s lovely to know that somebody else is there and you don’t have to constantly be on alert.
‘I always say that when I was working as a carer, nobody died on their own on my watch. I wanted to make sure people were looked after and had someone there for them. The team at Blythe House say all the right things – all the things I used to say to the people I cared for and their loved ones. They understand. They know what you’re going through, and that means so much.’
Both Derek and Judith also benefited from enjoying complementary therapies, giving them chance to unwind at home. Judith said: ‘We used to go into the conservatory for my massage, and it was so relaxing. It’s important to have those little moments when you can switch off.’
Helping them focus on what matters
As Derek’s condition progressed, he took steps to make sure his wishes for the future were known. He spoke openly with Judith about his end-of-life wishes, met with their local vicar, purchased their cemetery plot and made sure Judith knew where all the important information was kept.
Judith said: ‘I know Derek has put everything in place to make life easier for me. He’s sorted out the things he can, so I don’t have to worry about it all. He wanted to make sure I know what he’s decided and where everything is.’
Blythe House Hospice is here to support families through these difficult conversations, helping them explore their wishes and make informed decisions about the care and support they would like.
For Derek and Judith, that support has sat alongside the practical help, companionship and respite that became such an important part of their lives.
Find out more about services at Blythe House Hospice
