‘There were times when I could come to Blythe House to sit and just be calm. It was the only place I could say “no” to being fine. I still feel emotional to think about what the hospice did for me, and how it makes me feel.’
Tracey and her husband Paul had built a life together rooted in friendship, their shared passion for teaching, and a deep bond. Both teachers, they had shared a classroom and been best friends before marrying in 2016, and they were looking forward to a future they had planned following Tracey’s retirement. When Paul was diagnosed with bowel cancer in 2022, everything changed.
Throughout his illness, and in the time that followed, Blythe House Hospice provided support, guidance and comfort to both Tracey and Paul, helping them navigate an incredibly difficult chapter with compassion and care.
Tracey, from Buxton, explained: ‘I thought something started to seem strange when the colour in Paul’s face wasn’t right, and he was very conscious of losing weight. Then there was blood in the toilet. Paul went to the doctors, had tests, and in May 2022, it was confirmed as bowel cancer which had spread to his liver. It felt like the floor had been pulled from under me; I was in complete shock. The life I thought we’d have together would never happen.
‘I am a funeral celebrant, and a few days after Paul’s diagnosis, I was due to do a funeral with James Howe, a local funeral director in Chapel-en-le-Frith. I was really struggling, and I rang James and told him: “I can’t do it, I’m so sorry.” He suggested it might be good for me to contact Blythe House for support.
‘I called straight away – I didn’t want to be a sad person whose loved one was dying but I knew I needed support. Louise [Lead Nurse] rang back and got me booked in. I had one-to-one support with the nurses, and complementary therapy for my anxiety; acupuncture was absolutely amazing, and helped to relieve worries.
‘Paul struggled to accept he was ill, but he was also very brave and never complained. His bravery helped me to be brave. He did get angry that he couldn’t stay with me for longer, which was heartbreaking.
‘Amongst all this I was also caring for my step-dad in Bury who had dementia – going back and forth, alongside caring for Paul. It was taking its toll.
‘There were times when I could come to Blythe House to sit and just be calm. It was the only place I could say “no” to being fine. I still feel emotional to think about what the hospice did for me, and how it makes me feel.
‘My step-dad died in May 2023, and I felt like I couldn’t grieve for him properly and that had a big impact. Blythe House was there for me to guide me through this whole time. If we received a letter we didn’t understand or weren’t sure of, you could guarantee someone at Blythe House would know and they’d call you back – “leave it with us!” or “don’t you worry about that!”
‘When Paul became very poorly, the Hospice at Home and the Roaming Car services became involved. At first, he was very adamant he didn’t want any support, but one night he was in so much pain – I honestly didn’t know what to do for him; I felt helpless. I rang the Roaming Car, and he was disgruntled with me for doing so, but the nurses came and gave him some medication to relieve his pain. After that, he said: “When are those nice ladies coming back?” That was when he was sold on Blythe House.
‘Miriam and Angela, the occupational therapist and physiotherapist, came to support Paul, and we had regular sits from Hospice at Home so I could get a full night’s sleep and feel rested ready for the next day. The support was absolutely incredible.
‘On 31st October 2023, Mary, the Hospice at Home healthcare assistant, told me Paul’s breathing had changed and he was nearing the end of his life. We sat together and chatted to him as he took his final breath. It was exactly what he wanted; to be at home, in his own bed.
‘He was so scared, but the whole team at Blythe House did everything they could to make sure Paul had the best possible death. If you have got to lose someone, it was the most beautiful way to go.
‘Paul and I talked about his funeral wishes – my daughter, who is an opera singer, sang, and I read his eulogy. Paul wanted to be cremated, and I scattered his ashes on Arran, where we loved to holiday together.
‘This experience has given me a big lesson in living for today and enjoying every moment.’
Find out more about services at Blythe House Hospice
