‘I wish someone had told us about Blythe House sooner.’
When Ann became seriously ill, her daughter, Rachael, found herself trying to navigate an increasingly complex health and care system whilst caring for her beloved mum. As Ann’s health deteriorated with dementia and heart failure, Rachael became her mum’s advocate, carer and companion, determined to honour her wish to remain at home in Grindleford. Blythe House Hospice’s Roaming Car service became a ‘lifeline’ during Ann’s final days and was able to support Rachael in achieving her mum’s final wish.
Rachael explained: ‘Mum started showing signs of dementia around 18 months to two years before she died. We went to the doctors and joined the waiting list for an assessment, but it felt like such a long process. Sadly, by the time everything had progressed, Mum wasn’t well enough to receive any treatment.
‘We then discovered she was suffering from anemia, and she was admitted to hospital for a blood transfusion. Looking back, I wish I’d kept a diary because everything happened so quickly. There were so many appointments, so many conversations and so much worry that it all became a blur.
‘It was an incredibly frustrating time. I didn’t feel Mum was safe and her health declined rapidly. I visited the hospital every single day because I wanted to be with her. The only time I missed a visit was because I had a chest infection, so my husband went instead. It was then we were told her blood pressure had dropped and that she was in heart failure.
‘When Mum was discharged, a care package was arranged, but nobody mentioned Blythe House Hospice. It wasn’t until our GP suggested it that I referred Mum myself. Finding the hospice felt like a ray of light at one of the darkest times of our lives.
‘By then, Mum was sleeping for most of the day. Caring for her had become all-consuming and we were physically and emotionally exhausted. That’s when the Roaming Car team became my lifeline.
‘They weren’t just there to care for Mum – they cared for our family too. They explained everything so clearly, helped us make difficult decisions about Mum’s care, including when she needed a syringe driver, and always made sure we understood what was happening. No question ever felt too small.
‘Knowing the service was only a phone call away gave me such reassurance. They told me who to contact, what to expect and guided me through every step. When you’re caring for someone you love, the caring takes over and you lose the chance to simply be their daughter. Having someone there to support me made such a difference.
‘I’d heard of Blythe House before, through a former colleague at Hope Valley College who volunteered and fundraised for the hospice many years ago. Even so, I still didn’t realise the support they could offer us. I honestly wish someone had mentioned them much earlier because I truly believe Mum’s quality of life could have been so much better.
‘Mum was determined to stay at home. She had a beautiful view and loved looking out at the trees and being in familiar surroundings. She had completed a Respect form because she didn’t want to be admitted to hospital again, and it meant everything to us that we were able to honour those wishes. She died peacefully at home in February 2026, exactly where she wanted to be.
‘After Mum died, Rachel Thurlow, Carer and Family Support Worker at Blythe House, contacted me to offer support, and referred me for complementary therapy. Reiki was absolutely phenomenal; it gave me the headspace I’d been missing, helped me begin processing everything that had happened, and supported me as I returned to work.
‘What stands out to me most is that the team never just looked after Mum. They always asked how we were coping as a family too. Mum received impeccable care, but they also supported us with kindness, practical advice and genuine compassion.
‘If sharing Mum’s story helps just one family discover Blythe House Hospice sooner than we did, then it’s worth telling. I only wish we’d known about them earlier.’
Find out more about the services that Rachael mentions in her story
