Salli’s story
‘We’d lost our way before Blythe House came along, but they gave Pops a better end of life than we ever could’ve imagined.’
Salli with Dad, Bill and Mum, Jean
Salli and her parents, Jean and Bill, first came to know about Blythe House Hospice after Bill – affectionately known to Salli as Pops – suffered two strokes.
Bill had returned from a trip to America at the end of 2022, but something wasn’t quite right. He seemed extremely tired and not like his usual self. The family started to notice changes in his behaviour – he became distant, sometimes completely disengaged from what was going on around him. Within six weeks, he experienced his first stroke, and six weeks later, he had another.
The strokes affected Bill’s speech and mobility. Jean – who was married to Bill for over 60 years – and Salli did everything they could to keep him active and engaged, encouraging him to get out of the house. Over the next year, Bill had numerous hospital appointments, but his condition gradually declined. It became difficult for him to move, and eventually he began struggling to swallow.
Salli, from Walton in Chesterfield, explained: ‘Pops had gone from being Mum’s best friend – doing everything together and living very active and happy lives – to being trapped in the house. It was really very difficult for them both. I was still working full-time, so I couldn’t be around as much as I’d have liked, and my brother lives in the USA.’
It was during this time that Bill’s dementia palliative care nurse suggested getting support from Blythe House Hospice.
Salli said: ‘I’ll be completely honest, we had never heard of the hospice before. The nurse made a referral on a Monday in March 2024, and by Wednesday that week, a healthcare assistant from Blythe House came to spend time with Pops so that Mum and I could go out together and not be carers for a while. We went shopping, had a coffee – all the normal things you do day to day.”
From the moment the healthcare assistants walked through the door, Bill took to them immediately: ‘There was a huge amount of laughter, and he looked forward so much to their visits. He genuinely wanted to spend time with them – he enjoyed it.
‘The visits provided a much-needed break for Mum too. The relief for her as Pops’ main carer was huge. She’s a very young 85-year-old and had always lived such a busy and active life. Having a few hours each week to just be herself again meant the world to her.
‘Without the weekly visits, I genuinely don’t know what we’d have done, or how we’d have coped. The visits weren’t just important for our mental health – the team also encouraged us to keep Pops as active as possible. We believe that made a difference and helped to prolong his life. Whenever he felt up to it, we took him out – sometimes just for a drive. One day, we toured around Chesterfield, visiting his old haunts – where he grew up and where Mum lived when they were courting. Just the weekend before he died, we even went out for a meal. The support and encouragement from Blythe House meant we could give Pops a sense of “normal life” – we laughed and made memories together. We all grew so fond of the team.’
In Bill’s final weeks, Jean also made several calls to the Roaming Car team during the night. Salli said: ‘Mum needed the reassurance that he was okay – and we did everything we could to keep him at home. That was so important to us as a family, and Blythe House helped us to achieve it.”
On the day Bill died, the presence of Sara, a hospice Healthcare Assistant, meant everything: ‘We didn’t know how we’d cope that day – we simply couldn’t. We felt useless. We didn’t know what to say or do. But she reassured us: “Talk to him – he can still hear you.” “He’s not in as much pain as you think – try not to panic or worry.” “All the noises are normal.” Just having someone there, giving us that reassurance – it was absolutely phenomenal. Dad died peacefully at home in October 2024.”
Later that year, Salli and Jean signed up to take part in the hospice’s festive fundraising event, the Jingle Bell Jog, in Bill’s memory. Salli said: ‘It was a very emotional twist of fate – we were the last people to finish the route, but Mum, at 85 years old, absolutely smashed it. And as we crossed the finish line, the last marshal on the route was the healthcare assistant who’d been with us when Pops died! We couldn’t believe it. There were lots of tears.’
Reflecting on their experience, Salli said: ‘The hospice offers so much, and we just couldn’t believe it was all free. It supported us as a family – we didn’t have to worry about the cost, but we knew Pops was getting unbelievable care. It felt like a friend was walking through the door. At a time when we were bogged down with paperwork and bills, the hospice made things simple – no jumping through hoops and no red tape. It meant the world to us. We’d lost our way before Blythe House came along, but they gave Pops a better end of life than we ever could’ve imagined and we’ll be forever grateful.’
This year, Salli is dedicating a light in memory her beloved Pops in our Light up a Life appeal.
