‘I’m so grateful to all the Blythe House nurses and healthcare assistants who cared for Peter. They were just lovely – exactly what we needed. I can’t thank them enough, it meant that alongside Sarah, Cathie and their families, we were able to fulfil Peter’s wishes.’
When Peter, husband to Brenda for over 50 years, and dad to grown-up daughters, Sarah and Cathie, was diagnosed with rare bile duct cancer, Brenda was determined to honour his wish to remain at home in Bonsall as he neared the end of his life.
Supported by Blythe House’s Hospice at Home and Roaming Car teams, they were able to spend precious time together and ensure that Peter died peacefully in the home he loved.
Brenda explained: ‘It started with terrible itching, all over Peter’s body. We thought it must be something simple; I changed the washing powder, and we tried everything we could think of, but nothing made any difference. There were no other symptoms at first. I’m a retired nurse, so I knew something wasn’t right. Then I noticed he was becoming jaundiced.
‘Peter went to the GP, and after blood tests and a scan, everything happened very quickly; he was diagnosed with bile duct cancer (cholangiocarcinoma). The cancer had blocked his bile duct, so the bile couldn’t drain from his liver, and the bile salts were circulating in his bloodstream, which was causing the itching.
‘Peter was referred to Chesterfield Royal Hospital and then to Weston Park. We’d already booked a month’s holiday to Greece, on which Peter was determined to go, so we did. We had an appointment at Weston Park a couple of days after we got back, and the consultant said: “You were quite right to go on holiday, your cancer is terminal – palliative care is all that we can offer.”
‘He had palliative chemotherapy and a stent fitted to open the bile duct, but surgery to remove the cancer wasn’t an option because it had spread into his liver.
‘From then on, we made the most of the time we had. Peter lived for just over two years, and we had lots of lovely holidays together. At that time, we were unable to get travel insurance for Peter, but we chose to travel anyway, as making those memories together was far more important to us.
‘Peter hated hospitals. He never wanted to go in and resisted going whenever he could. He always knew he wanted to stay at home at the end of his life, and that’s what we wanted to make happen.
‘The out of hours Roaming Car service provided by Blythe House Hospice was invaluable. When I was on my own with Peter, it could be physically difficult to manage, and just knowing I could call someone who understood exactly what I was talking about was fantastic. They also periodically called me to check in on how I was. We had turned our lounge into a hospital room so he could stay at home. We also had support from a night-time Hospice at Home healthcare assistant from Blythe House, which meant I could get some rest.
‘In Peter’s final hours, he became very agitated and was resisting medication. I didn’t want to be in the position of having to persuade him to take it. The Roaming Car girls were brilliant with him – so kind, gentle and respectful. They spoke to him so beautifully, and he agreed to have an injection to help him settle.
‘Everything became calm after that. Within 24 hours, Peter died peacefully. I was with him on a sunny Sunday afternoon in July, and he was exactly where he wanted to be – at home.
‘I’m so grateful to all the Blythe House nurses and healthcare assistants who cared for Peter. They were just lovely – exactly what we needed. We managed because we had so much help, and it was just amazing. I can’t thank them enough, it meant that alongside Sarah, Cathie and their families, we were able to fulfil Peter’s wishes.
‘I’d known of Dr Louise Jordan in Baslow and Helen’s Trust over the years, but until we needed Blythe House Hospice ourselves, I don’t think I truly appreciated just how much of a difference that support could make. I’ll never forget the kindness we were shown.’
Find out more about services at Blythe House Hospice
