‘Blythe House has set me back on the path of my life.’
When Vicky was diagnosed with chronic kidney disease over a decade ago, she had no idea how much her health – and life – would change. Now in her early fifties, she lives with stage 3 kidney disease, heading to stage 4, caused by damage sustained when she was ill as a child but didn’t realise it at the time. Her kidney function sits around 25–30%, and in 2023, she suffered a heart attack that turned her world upside down.
Vicky explained: ‘The impact was huge – physically and mentally. It really affected my breathing, and I went into a spiral. I was 52 when I had my heart attack, and it just blew my world apart.’
After being referred by her social prescriber, Vicky was initially hesitant when she heard the words Blythe House Hospice: ‘Honestly, when it was suggested, I thought, I’m not dying, why would I need help from a hospice? I genuinely believed a hospice was for people at the end of life. I had no idea about all the other work you do.’
Despite her reservations, Vicky agreed to meet with Emma, Hospice Nurse, who explained more about the FAB (Fatigue, Anxiety and Breathlessness) programme: ‘I made no promises about going, but when I came to see Emma and talked through the FAB programme – the coping strategies, the breathing exercises for when I felt anxious or out of control – I realised this was exactly what I needed.
‘I felt so comfortable at Blythe House. Everyone was so friendly and welcoming, and there was absolutely no pressure. The staff are very relaxed – it’s such a lovely environment to be in. It allowed me to just be me, rather than constantly worrying about what people were thinking.’
Before joining the programme, Vicky’s confidence and mental health had taken a hit: ‘I’d been off work; my mental health was really affected. I was still living like it was the Covid lockdown. My social circle had shrunk; I didn’t want to go out because I was embarrassed about struggling to breathe or worried about getting home safely. It completely restricted my life.’
The hospice’s Community Volunteers made it possible for Vicky to attend sessions by picking her up from home and taking her back again. She said: ‘I don’t drive, and I don’t feel safe on public transport, so having volunteers come and pick me up was absolutely brilliant. It took all the worry out of getting there – it really facilitated my ability to leave home and do something for myself.’
Balancing her own health challenges while caring for her mum, who lives with dementia, had also left Vicky feeling overwhelmed: ‘All I did was work, sleep, and look after my parents. Everything combined was really affecting my mental health. I knew I needed to do something just for me.’
From her very first FAB session, Vicky noticed a change: ‘It just felt warm and welcoming – relaxed, no pressure whatsoever. By the end of the programme, a fellow member of the group said: “You’ve really got a lot out of this, haven’t you? You were quiet as a mouse and now we can’t shut you up!” That was down to the people who delivered it – Emma, Karen, Miriam and Angela – their mannerisms, tone of voice, everything. It was pretty much perfect.’
Through FAB, Vicky learnt techniques that have become part of her daily routine and changed how she approaches life: ‘I meditate every day now – it helps me relax and manage my breathing. I’ve noticed I don’t have as many panic attacks or migraines, which were caused by stress and anxiety. It’s given me time back to do the things I enjoy.
‘Even something like the little yellow star I squeeze in my hand while breathing deeply – I couldn’t believe something so simple could completely calm my anxiety. It has to be both things together – the breathing and the star – they’re like a little bit of magic!
‘I’ve started to plan things better – thinking about what’s worth doing and how to prepare my energy. If I go out with friends on a Saturday, I know I’ll need to rest on Sunday, so I plan for it. It’s about realising what’s important – family and friends come first, work comes second, but it hasn’t always been that way.’
Now working towards returning to the office, Vicky feels more confident about managing her health and her life: ‘The difference it’s made is really significant. Blythe House has set me back on the path of my life. I’ve learnt to be open and get out of my comfort zone — and that’s made all the difference.’
Find out more about the FAB programme at Blythe House Hospice
