To commemorate Children’s Book Week from 6th to 12th November 2023, Rachel Leech, lead counsellor, has put together a list of some of her favourite books that she recommends to families and children who she is working with.
Parents and caregivers rightly worry if they’re faced with having incredibly tough conversations with children and young people about the heavy subjects of death, dying and bereavement. We panic about saying the wrong thing, causing unnecessary hurt and distress, making things worse, and children being too young to fully understand what’s going on.
The books below are some of my recommendations (in alphabetical order), and why I feel they will really help you to open up those tricky conversations. All of the links are to Amazon; however, this is just for illustrative purposes and you may wish to buy or read the book via your local library or high street book store:
Badger’s Parting Gifts by Susan Varley – Heartfelt book about a much-loved Badger that knows he must soon die, so he does his best to prepare his friends. When he finally passes away, his friends are grief-stricken, but one by one they remember the special things he taught them during his life. By sharing their memories, they realise that although Badger is no longer with them physically, he lives on through his friends.
Calm – Mindfulness For Kids by Wynne Kinder – Mindfulness is a big word for a simple idea – it is paying attention, with care, to one moment at a time. The perfect introduction to mindfulness, this children’s book teaches kids how to be mindful by focusing their thoughts and noticing the world around them using fun activities.
Muddles, Puddles and Sunshine: Your Activity Book to Help When Someone Has Died by Diana Crossley and Kate Sheppard – a beautiful memory book that children can complete including activity suggestions for the whole family.
Starving the Anxiety Gremlin by Kate Collins-Donnelly – Not a children’s book but an invaluable book for adults related to children aged 5 to 9, offering techniques and strategies to help with anxiety and worries.
The Huge Bag of Worries by Virginia Ironside and Frank Rodgers – A fantastic story for emotional literacy that encourages children to open up conversations.
The Invisible String by Patrice Karst and Joanne Lew-Vriethoff – A beautiful story for children who are struggling being apart from family members or friends. Not about bereavement but talks about maintaining the connection, so also helpful with bereavement or life-limiting illess.
The Secret C: Straight Talking About Cancer by Julie Stokes, Jane Fior and Peter Bailey – This book provides children with easy-to-understand information about cancer. I use this frequently to offer families a way to talk openly in an age-appropriate way when someone is diagnosed with cancer.
The Whole Brain Child by Dr Tina Payne Bryson and Dr. Daniel Siegel – Another book for adults offering insight into child behaviour with strategies to respond in a neurologically developmentally helpful way.
When Dinosaurs Die: A Guide To Understanding Death by Laurie Krasny Brown and Marc Brown – This is a question that I often find adults struggle to work out how to explain to children. The book covers topics including what does alive mean; why does someone die; what does dead mean; feelings about death; saying goodbye; keeping customs; what comes after death; and ways to remember someone. It also has a useful glossary at the back addressing the meaning of words such as cremation.
Why Do Things Die? by Katie Daynes and Christine Pym – An excellent flip-the-flap book for young children explaining what is alive and what isn’t (teddies etc.) with simple and child-friendly questions answered.
I hope that if you’re a parent, grandparent, guardian, school staff member or carer who is struggling with having to have these incredibly complex and difficult conversations with a child in your care, that amongst some of the recommendations on this list, there is a suggestion or two that might be of interest to you.
I am incredibly proud that my team and I work so hard to support young people aged from 4 to 18 years old across the local community with a counselling and play therapy service, which includes a specially-adapted play room full of toys, arts and crafts activities that children can utilise to express themselves when talking is sometimes too hard.
You may also find another article on our website interesting to read – written by myself alongside a colleague who has now retired back in 2021 to commemorate Dying Matters Awareness Week. We blogged about how to open up and have conversations with to children about death, dying and bereavement. Read it online now.
Find out more information on our counselling and bereavement service.
If you’d like to talk to me directly about any of the issues raised in this blog, I’d be delighted to speak to you via: 01298 875 080.
