Louise’s story

‘When you’re at your most vulnerable, Blythe House is such a welcoming and friendly place.’ 

Louise received bereavement support at the hospice following the death of her beloved Dad, John, in October 2021.

Louise, who’s from Buxton, said: ‘Dad was diagnosed with liver cancer in 2017; he had started getting out of breath and was struggling with his breathing. When he was diagnosed, the consultant told us he’d probably been living with the cancer for a while before his diagnosis. The consultant told my husband and I – as Dad did not want to know – that he only had six to twelve months left to live. Dad was going to The Christie to have medication called Sorafenib (a type of drug known as a ‘cancer blocker’); he was unable to have chemotherapy or surgery to remove the cancer as he had a heart condition.

‘During Covid, Dad ended up with another illness which made him very poorly and he was unable to take the Sorafenib. In August 2021, when he was feeling better, we went back to The Christie to find out if he could start re-taking the medication, but he was sadly told that the cancer had spread, and so the drugs wouldn’t be useful anymore.

‘Dad was devastated – he had been holding on to the hope that he’d be able to start re-taking the meds – but on the car journey home, it was the first time we broached the subject of his death, and from this point we started to discuss his funeral arrangements. He told me he’d like to help write his own eulogy; he provided facts and figures including dates that he started work and other important milestones in his life, and he asked me if I could read it at his funeral.

‘He chose hymns and said that he’d like to leave the church to My Life, a song by The Beatles. It was important to him to input his thoughts and wishes into his own funeral plan. Following his death, when I started to read the eulogy at his funeral, I made a point to say how he’d be looking down on us all there – all his family and friends together in one room, with his chosen music – and he’d be quite annoyed that he wasn’t with us!

 

‘Before all of this, it was suggested to us by another member of the community healthcare team that we should contact Blythe House for some support. We had no idea what the hospice could offer us, but the very kind lady on the phone arranged for Mum, Dad and me to visit, to discuss how they could help. We realised that the care and support wasn’t just for Dad – that there were complementary therapies available, which Mum was interested to try, and I was keen to try some mindfulness. Dad was more interested in how they could help Mum and me; he came away feeling content that we were being supported.

‘In August 2021, Dad very rapidly became more poorly, and in early September, he was admitted to Ashgate Hospice in Chesterfield. At first, we thought this would just be for a respite break; for Dad to get himself back on track and reset. Unfortunately, the cancer had spread and he was getting very confused. We’d put Classic FM on the radio for Dad, as he loved to listen to classical music. He still planned to come home, but on the day he was due to return home, he died at the hospice. Mum and I both agreed it was the best thing for him that he’d stayed there.

‘As Dad was so poorly, we knew to expect the worst and so I was feeling lots of pressure and responsibility to be organised and get it right. After his death, I didn’t have time to think about my own grief as I was so busy organising practical things like the funeral, a death certificate, liaising with the bank – and supporting my family including my Mum, brother and sister, although they were both a wonderful help. I kept my brain going with all these practical things.

‘During Dad’s stay at the hospice, Emma Richards [community engagement nurse at Blythe House and Helen’s Trust], called me to see how I was. I explained the situation and she said she’d ring back, which she did a few weeks later, and we arranged to meet.

Emma Richards – Community Engagement Nurse

‘The biggest thing for me during my conversations with Emma, was just the talking. Emma listened in such a way that made me appreciate she was taking everything in. Every time we met again; she picked up right where we left off the last time. Emma must see so many people, but when I spoke to her, it was like I was the only person she was supporting. It was so valuable to have that time; it was my time to grieve. Emma also gave me lots of techniques and tools to practice mindfulness in my everyday life.

‘My meetings with Emma gave me the opportunity to think about how I was actually feeling. I found the inner strength to be strong for Mum; recognising the times when I needed mindfulness, knowing my triggers or when I was becoming overwhelmed. Emma helped me in so many ways that she might not realise; giving practical advice about boundaries; asking questions; not being afraid to challenge things; and not saying yes to everything.

‘I am immensely grateful for all of the time and support at Blythe House; not just from Emma but everyone who I’ve come into contact with, who has been so friendly and welcoming – on the phone or the reception desk. To anyone reading this, if you’re umming and aring about taking the first step to make the call or visit the hospice, just know that when you’re at your most vulnerable, Blythe House is such a welcoming and friendly place.’

Find out more about carers and bereavement support here at the hospice.

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Meet the team – Poppie Staden, digital marketing apprentice

Poppie Staden started as digital marketing apprentice at Blythe House and Helen’s Trust in August 2022.

Poppie is undertaking a 15-month level 3 digital marketer apprenticeship with QA, the UK’s number one provider of tech and digital apprenticeships, whilst gaining valuable on-the-job experience at the hospice.

Poppie’s role is fully funded by the government (95%) with the remainder paid by Asda as part of the company’s obligation to support the national apprenticeship levy. This means that Blythe House and Helen’s Trust can continue to spend as much money as possible directly on patient care.

Poppie, who’s from Harpur Hill in Buxton, explains: ‘Before starting my apprenticeship here at the hospice, I was doing an events management degree at Leeds Beckett University. As for a lot of people studying during the pandemic, it just didn’t work for me, and I didn’t get the experience and study I wanted out of it. I decided that digital marketing was the path I wanted to pursue. This apprentice role came up at the hospice, and it couldn’t be more perfect, as Blythe House holds a special place in my heart.

‘The hospice supported me and my family in a very difficult time early this year, when our beloved Grandad died in May. Blythe House supported Grandad by providing Hospice at Home care, and even after my Grandad’s death, the hospice continues to support my family in multiple ways. So, when this apprenticeship role came up in July, it couldn’t have been more perfect. It was exactly what I was looking for, and the fact of how I know what an amazing organisation the hospice is, it made it even more rewarding to be accepted for the role.

‘During my first few months here at Blythe House and Helen’s Trust, I have met some extraordinary people; it’s such an honour to be apart of such a lovely and caring team. I would say my favourite part so far has been that during my first few weeks here, I was given the opportunity to get to meet everyone individually, which made settling into the job very easy. This also gave me the chance to share with everyone my ideas for my role here at the hospice, and everyone was so accepting and open to new ideas and opportunities, which is great!

‘My apprenticeship will help me to increase my knowledge and understanding of digital marketing, and throughout the course I will be studying: practical digital marketing; relationship marketing; web technologies; analytics and so much more.

‘I hope that looking forward, we will be able to maximise the potential of marketing here at Blythe House and Helen’s Trust. I hope that I bring a new set of eyes and ideas to the organisation, and I help to reach the goals in which we’ll set out.

‘I’m looking forward to increasing my knowledge and understanding on digital marketing, charity marketing, and Blythe House and Helen’s Trust in general. I will do this by using a variation of new platforms and techniques, to increase performance on our variety of channels and marketing strategies. Working here is just such a great opportunity, and I can’t wait to start spreading the word of the amazing care, support and services we provide here, that we’re not just a hospice, we are so much more than that.

‘In my spare time I love socialising, going to a variety of events, and going on walks with our beagle, Rex.’

Read our patient and families stories that Poppie has been involved in sourcing and writing.

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Accessing Hospice at Home care for a parent, to becoming a hospice nurse – Penny’s story

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Penny Ellis became deputy manager of our Hospice at Home service in August 2021, supporting local people to keep their beloved family members at home as they near the end of life.

Penny understands ‘exactly how important it is’ to be able to grant a loved one’s wish to stay in the comfort of their home as they die, after the Hospice at Home service cared for Penny’s mum, Pat Wilson, during the final days of her life in 2018.

Penny, who has been a nurse for over a quarter of a century, explains: ‘My Mum and Dad, Pat and Dave Wilson, have lived in Chapel-en-le-Frith since 1973. My Mum worked at Chapel-en-le-Frith C of E VC Primary School as a caretaker and later worked as a teaching assistant, before moving onto a teaching assistant position at Whaley Bridge Primary School.

‘After her retirement, Mum’s health started to decline, and following many tests, investigations and surgery, she was diagnosed with adrenocortical carcinoma (cancer of the adrenal glands; two small glands on top of each kidney), in 2016. This came as a shock to us all as a family. Unfortunately, her prognosis was only two to five years as this is a very rare form of cancer.

‘After several rounds of palliative chemotherapy, Mum became weaker and weaker, and the decision was made to stop further treatment and plan for best supportive care at home. Mum made the decision to die at home and she herself got in touch with Louise Furmston (community engagement lead nurse at Blythe House), who was an old neighbour, to ask about support from the hospice. Louise arranged for Mum to visit the hospice; to meet staff and discuss the services available to her. Dr Sarah Parnacott (consultant in palliative medicine and a trustee on the Blythe House and Helen’s Trust board), also became involved at this point.

‘Mum was really looking forward to attending some group sessions and relaxing by enjoying some complementary therapy. Dad and I always attended Mum’s clinic appointments at Blythe House with Dr Parnacott, who she trusted wholeheartedly. Mum regularly commented on the family-friendly feel and the kind staff at the hospice.

‘Within weeks, Mum’s condition deteriorated rapidly and she was never able to attend any of the Blythe House services that she was so looking forward to. In October 2018, Mum became bedbound and as a family, we chose to care for her at home. We had excellent ongoing care from both Dr Parnacott and the Chapel-en-le-Frith district nursing team.

‘The district nurses referred mum to the Blythe House Hospice at Home service and I received a call from Ruth Brown (former manager of the service who has now retired but sits on the hospice’s board of trustees). Mary Rooney, a Hospice at Home healthcare assistant, sat with Mum overnight so we as a family could get some much-needed rest. I remember talking with Mary about the Hospice at Home service as it was new to me. Mum died very peacefully with all her family around, warm and comfortable, two days later. Without the Hospice at Home service, it would have been a struggle to continue as a family. The team’s intervention was so valuable.

‘Three years later in 2021, I saw a vacancy for a Hospice at Home nurse and knew I had to apply. As a nurse for over 25 years, my passion has always been caring for palliative and end of life patients. I’m really pleased that both Shane (O’Reilly, hospice CEO) and Jude (Webster, Hospice at Home manager), could see my passion for this type of nursing. I have been within the Hospice at Home team for nearly 18 months and I absolutely love it.

‘I feel so privileged to be helping other families care for their loved ones at home. I totally understand the difficulties our patients and their families face daily when patients wish to die at home, but with the help and support of the Hospice at Home team at Blythe House and Helen’s Trust, this can be made so much easier. After utilising the service for my Mum, I now know just exactly how important it is; the care and support given is utterly immeasurable. It is both a pleasure and an honour to work for Blythe House and Helen’s Trust.’

Find out more about the Hospice at Home service and how it could support your loved one.

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Meet the team – Marie Brown, in her new role as senior retail manager

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Marie Brown has been retail manager for one or more of our Blythe House Hospicecare and Helen’s Trust retail shops throughout the last decade, and now she is beginning a new chapter, after her recent promotion to senior retail manager. In this role, Marie will oversee all five of our local high street stores, as well as our online shops, including eBay and Depop.  

Marie, who graduated with a degree in surface pattern design in 2000, worked as a textile designer producing products for retailers such as John Lewis, Dunelm and many others across the UK and throughout Europe. Here, she was responsible for bringing together ranges of designs each year and presenting them on exhibition stands at huge trade shows in Belgium, Frankfurt, Italy, London and Birmingham.  This is where she developed her skills in visual merchandising and retail, and fell in love with how creative, exciting and challenging it was.

Marie then decided that working in the textiles industry was just not for her. She explains: ‘It was polluting, exploitative and wasteful, and I was unable to reconcile my conscience any longer. Therefore, I then left the industry and opened my own independent boutique selling Fair Trade furnishings, my own artwork, design-led gifts and interior accessories, plus ranges from other UK designers and manufacturers.

‘I also opened a gallery which operated as a community interest company for local artists which was run by volunteers. Ten years later, The Gallery is still open and can be found at 12 High Street, New Mills.  Later, a change in my personal circumstances meant that my little shop was no longer viable, and in 2009 I closed it down.’

The same year, Marie was offered a managerial position in what was the original Blythe House Hospicecare furniture store in Whaley Bridge. She said: ‘In 2010, we opened a small Blythe House clothes shop just across the road and a further 12 months after, that we merged the two shops, and in 2011 became the Blythe House Hospice department store that we know today.

‘I was retail manager of the department store for five years until 2016, when the opportunity arose for me to become the retail manager for the three smaller outlets we have in New Mills, Chapel-en-le Frith and Buxton.  Six years later, I have remained the retail manager for Blythe House’s shop in Buxton, and also our Helen’s Trust store in Bakewell which I opened last year. This is all about to change again as I recently accepted the role of senior retail manager for Blythe House Hospicecare and Helen’s Trust.

‘The retail enterprises for Blythe House and Helen’s Trust just keeps growing; ecommerce has expanded; the turnover of all the shops has grown year on year; we have opened a Helen’s Trust shop in Bakewell, and we are looking to open more. My new role is to support our retail managers and their teams to keep our existing shops safe and secure through whatever challenges may lie ahead, and to ensure they continue to thrive and generate essential funds that support Blythe House and Helen’s Trust in providing high levels of care for people with life-limiting illnesses.

 ‘It may be obvious, but I love charity shops; they are the perfect solution to so many problems – social, environmental and financial. To be given the opportunity to open more as we expand throughout Derbyshire is what inspired me to apply for the role and what excites me most about the future. I have been a part of all our charity shops for the past 13 years; some of our volunteers have been with us for decades, we have had many adventures together.

‘It is the people who are my favourite part of what I do; the dedication of our volunteers is my motivation, the generosity of our communities who give us fabulous donations of clothes, homewares, books, toys and furniture feed my creativity, and the loyalty of our customers makes all the hard work worthwhile. Our charity shops have huge personalities where laughter and cups of tea are very important; I am very grateful for both.’

Could you spare just four hours of your time per week? If so, does becoming a volunteer at one of our Blythe House Hospicecare and Helen’s Trust shops or online stores interest you? Find out more and apply online now: Volunteer Opportunities – Blythe House Hospicecare

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Beverley and Jodie’s story

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‘We needed to keep Mum at home because that’s where she wanted to be. I would not have coped with the support of the Hospice at Home team – I would’ve gone under.’

Jean

Beverley’s mum, Jean was cared for at her home in Hayfield by our Hospice at Home team before she sadly died in December 2021. Beverley, and her daughter, Jodie, who both live in nearby New Mills, explain more about the care that Jean received…

Beverley said: ‘We have always been a really close-knit family – we don’t live in each other’s pockets but we all know that each other is there. It was back in November 2019 that Mum had a funny episode and she called to ask me to go round. I rang Jodie and asked her to come with me – she had previously done care work in the community care team. We both knew when we first saw Mum that something wasn’t quite right. We thought initially that she’d had a stroke.’

Jodie added: ‘Out of the blue, Nana told us that there had been blood in her poo when she was going to the toilet. We knew she’d kept this to herself for a long time. Doctors visited Nana at home on four different occasions and stated they couldn’t find anything to worry about, further stating it was probably because of bowel polyps* that Nanna had previously had surgery on. We were informed that they would not operate on her again though, due to her old age.

‘Dr Keogh from Sett Valley Medical Centre rang my Mum, Beverley, and said he had looked at Nana’s blood test results and her haemoglobin levels were very low and arranged for a scan. Later, in March 2020, Nanna was sent for a scan – where we found out the tragic news that she had bowel cancer. Devastatingly, the cancer had spread close to her bladder; it was far too advanced to operate on. Nana confided in us that she suspected she’d had cancer for a long time.

‘Mum and I made the decision to care for Nana ourselves, she remained fiercely independent and was very demanding – she nicknamed us Laurel and Hardy; through the sad times we drew strength from Nanas sense of humour. It was heart breaking because Nana never wanted you to leave and would cry when it was time for us to go – she was scared of being on her own.

‘Having a background in care work, I thought caring for my Nana would be easy due to previous experience in the care field, however caring for a loved one is much more personal and it was extremely hard to separate emotions from the tasks in hand on occasion.’

Beverley continued: ‘Mum was incredibly stoic and wanted to maintain her independence – she was a proud woman and it was hard to explain to her that we needed extra support. She kept having falls but she maintained that she didn’t need anyone else except her daughter and granddaughter to take care of her; and she was adamant that she wasn’t having anyone else in her home. Tina Wild, advanced nurse practitioner at Sett Valley Medical Centre in New Mills, spoke to us about getting extra support from Blythe House. After some conversations between family, Mum accepted that we would all benefit from a little outside help and support. When you are caring for a loved one who is so poorly it is a constant cycle of emotions- highs, lows, good times, sad times – you lose contact with the outside world because you dedicate your life to ensuring your loved one has the best care and they are never alone.

‘As Mum became weaker and more poorly, it was taking her almost two hours to get to the bathroom to have a wash, and because she became so tired, she was at high risk of falling. She continued to be so independent and wanted to do this all herself. However, after one particularly bad fall, we had to call an ambulance. After this, Mum accepted that she needed to accept extra help. Tina Wild referred Mum to Blythe House in April 2021.

‘Mum was very well aware of the hospice as she came for counselling sessions after my Dad, Fred died, and was also a member of one of the support groups. She used to look forward to her visits to the hospice – it got her out of the house and socialising with others in similar situations.

‘At first, Mum was still very unsure about having healthcare assistants (HCAs) in her home. But we need not have worried. On the first visit, as luck would have it, the healthcare assistant, Kevin, was someone that the family knows. Kevin used to work with my Dad so he spent the time reminiscing with Mum and telling her stories about Dad – this really put her at ease. The HCAs prepared food and made drinks for Mum, and offered her companionship.

‘As Mum’s illness progressed and the visits became longer and through the night, she built up a real rapport with every healthcare assistant who came to visit her – she was really afraid of being on her own. She would ask me: “Who’s coming tonight?” She loved seeing photographs of their families, grandchildren and pets. We think Mum protected us a lot; she never complained of any pain but she opened up to the HCAs about her diagnosis. Some of the HCAs would sing with her, but if she wanted to rest, they’d monitor her throughout the night.’

Jodie said: ‘Towards the end, Nana’s health was really up and down – doctors told us to gather the family on four different occasions because they thought she was imminently dying. Nana’s mental health really suffered, and she’d ask us questions like: “When am I going to get better?” She started sleeping a lot more, and was asleep more than she was awake.’

Beverley continued: ‘A decision was made to set up a syringe driver (A piece of equipment that delivers medicines throughout the day and night) for Mum, to help manage her agitation. On the 16th December, Mum said to me: “I’m going to die tomorrow.” It was surreal, because the next day, Mum went downhill. Philippa, the Hospice at Home HCA, held Mum’s hand as she explained to us what would happen and what to look out for.’

Jodie said: ‘We played my Grandpa’s favourite song “Unchained Melody” by Robson and Jerome, and even though she was effectively asleep, she was smiling as it played. It was so strange, because we had been here before so many times; we honestly expected her to sit up and ask for a cup of tea or a sandwich, but her breathing became more ragged. We stroked her hair, told her she was safe and to go and find Grandpa. She died on 17th December, aged 91.’

Beverley said: ‘When Mum was first diagnosed with cancer, I was quite cocky. I said: “I’ll look after her no problem!” We needed to keep Mum at home, because that’s where she wanted to be. Supporting palliative care for a loved one is emotionally exhausting, something I greatly underestimated. With the help of the Hospice at Home team we were able to fulfil mum’s wishes and keep her at home in her familiar surroundings. Without the support of the Hospice at Home team, Mum would’ve had to go into hospital, something she desperately didn’t want.

‘The Hospice at Home team was constantly there for us, either in person or at the end of the phone day or night – they didn’t sugar coat anything, they told us exactly how it was, and we really liked that, so we were prepared and aware as a family. The HCAs became my support network and my friends; they were there for me as much as they were there for Mum. She was seeing different people, having different conversations; they relieved my guilt of having to have carers to support us, and I knew she was so very well cared for.’

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Glossopdale Charity Crafters supporting Blythe House care since 2016

A local crafting group is already planning for Easter 2023 as they support hospice care across the local area.

The Glossopdale Charity Crafters started supporting Blythe House Hospicecare and Helen’s Trust back in 2016, knitting Easter chicks for the hospice’s spring fundraising campaign. The group then branched out with knitted chocolate covers for Christmas, and more recently, knitted sunflowers to brighten up the reception display at the hospice in Chapel-en-le-Frith, and items to support the fundraising team at local events and markets.

When local crafting volunteers were asked about why they wanted to support the hospice, Sue said: ‘Because one day they may help me or my family and friends.’

Lynda commented: ‘Because they are so appreciative of what we do, and we do it out of love for the things they do.’ And Ali said: ‘Because they support those we care about.’

Deborah Gregory, founder and organiser of the Glossopdale Charity Crafters, explained: ‘The Charity Crafters began in March 2016 when the Derbyshire Wildlife Trust put out a plea for knitters to make little bees that were to be placed on walks for people to find and then log into their website to say where they had found it and to get some information on how to help our bees.

‘When volunteer knitters finished that project, they asked to carry on and we decided to help members of our community by providing high-quality handmade items to those in need. We made things like cribs for babies born too soon; hats and scarves to keep people warm, including the homeless, and for patients on a surgical ward at Tameside Hospital to maintain body temperature after surgery. We supply Peeps-Hie (a local charity who support families who have babies born with Hypoxic Ischemic Encephalopathy), with hats to put in their hospital packs so parents have somewhere to turn after diagnosis.

‘Our donations either provide practical or emotional support to those who need a hand of friendship. We cover the whole of the Peak District, Greater Manchester and most recently Salford where we support not only a community centre but Verve CIC, placing foster carers with children. Each child is provided with a toy of their own that they get to keep, and a pocket toy to take around with them to provide emotional support.

‘During the first lockdown we were approached by some of the hospital staff we liaise with to help provide them with scrubs, scrub hats and other items they couldn’t get their hands on. Staff had been sequestered into work and scrubs were a huge part of infection control but they could not be bought anywhere. Using our volunteers and then putting a request online secured the support of about 2,000 amazing volunteers, not only machinists but drivers and fundraisers. It was such a privilege to be able to help in this way and tens of thousands of items were provided free of charge to as many NHS and care staff as needed them.

‘The base for the group is in Glossop and there are two huge donation boxes outside 8 Ashleigh Avenue, Glossop, SK13 7BL, for not only our group but anyone in the network we support. Networking is really important in what we do. Working together we can tackle so much more, keep more out of landfill and help as many more people as possible.
‘It doesn’t matter what your ability, there is always something you can do and lots of support to help you progress. We were meeting up before the pandemic but haven’t yet got back into our monthly meet ups though this is something we are working towards. If anyone has any wool they would like to donate we will never say no. We also need buttons (especially large ones), small zips, large beads, keyrings and other items that can be sewn onto twiddlemuffs to create interest. Twiddlemuffs are knitted muffs with items attached to keep dementia patients’ hands active and busy.’

For more information about the group:

 

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Jane’s story – Pancreatic Cancer Awareness Month

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November is Pancreatic Cancer Awareness Month and the 17th November specifically is World Pancreatic Cancer Day 2022; an annual opportunity to raise vital awareness of the ‘silent’ signs and symptoms of the disease. Pancreatic Cancer UK explains: ‘Shockingly, research into pancreatic cancer has been underfunded for decades, receiving only 3% of the UK cancer research budget, meaning survival has barely changed in the past 40 years. ’

There was merely a month between Mike Davies’ diagnosis with pancreatic cancer and his untimely death in January 2022. The electrician, from New Mills, had been complaining of a persistent lower back pain, but it wasn’t until he collapsed in pain whilst chatting to a friend on the phone, that his wife, Jane, called the GP.

Jane explains: ‘We had done what everyone does and Googled Mike’s symptoms which had suggested he could have gallbladder stones, but the GP wanted to see him in person. She was very good and arranged for Mike to have a surgical assessment at Stepping Hill Hospital. After that, the medical team wanted Mike to have a scan, but he needed to go back the next day.

‘The following day, I dropped Mike off at the hospital and went over to the Sainsbury’s supermarket whilst he went in for the scan as I wasn’t allowed in with him. Mike called me later and told me he’d been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, that had spread into his liver. It was a huge shock, and everything happened so quickly.

‘The symptoms of pancreatic cancer are not signs you’d ever really link to cancer. The lower back pain we put down to Mike’s job, and him using an exercise bike to keep fit. He had also been complaining of feeling bloated and not eating as much at mealtimes, but as he was winding up for retirement and not working as much, he just said he didn’t need to eat as much anymore. In hindsight, they couldn’t have been more obvious, and I only learnt about them as I sat and waited for Mike during one of his appointments, as there was a display in the waiting area.

‘We were due to go to Lapland with my son, daughter and all the grandchildren for a special trip before Christmas. We obviously had to cancel the holiday. At first, we thought that Mike would be able to undergo chemotherapy, but sadly after undergoing several bilirubin blood tests (to check the health of his liver), the readings came back far too high to have any chemo.

‘Mike was put on special medication but it gave him terrible hiccups which impaired his speech. He also had morphine but he didn’t like taking that as he didn’t feel in control of his body – he was so unused to this new feeling. He was a very stoic and proud man; I think he was in a lot more pain than he ever let on.

‘Mike was discharged from hospital and was able to spend Christmas at home. We had the whole family over but our grandchildren knew something was wrong with Grandad and that he wasn’t well; it was a very emotional day.

‘On the 27th December, Mike woke up and couldn’t breathe properly so I called an ambulance which came straight away. He was admitted to Stepping Hill again and was there for a week. Looking back, I think it was a waste of a week because I couldn’t see him, but he used the opportunity to call his friends and tell them he was very unwell. He came out of hospital on New Years’ Eve.

‘We live in a bungalow but our bedroom is upstairs in the attic and I was very uncomfortable with Mike getting up and down the stairs to our room and to use the bathroom. We relocated downstairs and stayed together in our spare room, which is set up for our grandchildren.

‘The palliative care team from our GP surgery came and gave great support and advice. They referred us to Blythe House for day and night-time care. Even though Mike had lost a lot of weight, he was still much taller and heavier than me, and I had trouble moving him. He was a very proud man and he got cross because he couldn’t move or help himself. He’d say in jest to my daughter and I: “You’d make a pair of rotten nurses!”

‘A hospital bed was delivered on 14th January, and I was able to rearrange our grandchildren’s play room for Mike to go in there in the specialist bed. That day, healthcare assistants from Blythe House’s Hospice at Home service started to come to provide care and respite support to Mike and I. I think he felt better when they were there, because it wasn’t just me – there were people there who knew what they were doing.

‘During the week, so many family members and friends came around to visit. I don’t think he wanted them to; he didn’t want them to see him the way he was, but I told him it was important for them to come.

‘During the evening on the 19th January, my son, David, and I had left Mike sleeping in his room whilst we went to have some tea, and a friend of mine called round to see how I was. David said he’d leave us to chat and go and check on Mike. He came back into the room and said: “I think you better come.” Mike had died peacefully in the hospital bed at home.

‘A member of the Hospice at Home team was there during the day or through the night for fives nights before Mike died. Mike used to joke that the only way he was leaving our house was feet first. It was so important to him to stay at home – I could not have done it without Blythe House working alongside the wider community care team. Usually, a lot of different people coming together from several agencies just doesn’t work, but they really did communicate well and the continuity of Mike’s care was amazing.

‘We asked for donations at Mike’s funeral to Blythe House, and set up a tribute page online so that loved ones can share their memories of him, and donate to the charity if they wish. The hospice did so much for us and it’s a local charity. I’ve always shopped in the New Mills charity shop – and it was important for us to support the hospice and say thanks for everything the team did for us.’

A tribute page is an online memorial you can create and personalise in memory of a loved one. It’s a place where family and friends can share memories and photos, leave a message of condolence, light a virtual candle and make a donation in their memory. The tribute page can also act as a funeral notice where you can share practical funeral arrangements with family and friends.

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Sue’s fundraising story

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Sue Gillies started fundraising for Blythe House Hospicecare back in 2011, after being ‘blown away’ by the care her beloved Uncle Roy received at a nearby hospice.

In 2017, Blythe House’s Hospice at Home service provided care and support to Pat, Sue’s mum, in the comfort of her home before Pat sadly died from chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, and dementia.

Throughout the last decade, Sue has raised over £4,000 for local patient care by taking part in walking challenges, and hand crocheting beautiful animals and accessories, for donations to the hospice.

The latest in Sue’s initiatives was a Facebook Fundraiser – which accumulated £250 for the charity – to celebrate a recent ‘big’ birthday. Facebook fundraising allows people to raise money for themselves, a friend or a charity to support the causes that they care about via the social media platform.

Sue, who’s from Peak Dale, explained: ‘Back in 2005, my Uncle Roy was incredibly poorly with bone cancer. He spent nine weeks in Stepping Hill Hospital, and my mum, Pat, and I, went to see him every single day. He was a very proud and private man, was always very smart and took a great pride in his appearance. It was so sad, awful in fact, to see him unable to get out of bed to care for himself and being in so much pain.

‘Eventually we were able to get him home just before Christmas. Mum and I cared for him there before he was admitted to East Cheshire Hospice in Macclesfield for end of life care when he neared the very end of his life. I was totally overwhelmed with the care and support Uncle Roy received – the staff couldn’t do enough for us, not just him, but for Mum and I too. The care was just amazing. This is what set me off to start fundraising for local hospices.

‘In 2011, I took part in Hike the Hill, a walking challenge between Blythe House and East Cheshire Hospice. Since then, I’ve hosted coffee mornings, baked cakes, and donated money to the charity in lieu of buying Christmas cards.

‘Three years ago, I taught myself to crochet. I make all sorts of items including animals, bears, scarves, bookmarks; I also make things to order if there’s a specific item that someone wants. All I do is take out the cost of my materials, and the rest I donate to Blythe House. I don’t want to make any money, I crochet as a hobby and I love to do it.

‘This was my reasoning for setting up a fundraiser for the hospice for my recent “big” birthday. I don’t need or want anything; if I do, I am very fortunate that I am able to buy those things myself, but I am not a very materialistic person anyway. I told family and friends that I didn’t want any presents, and that I’d be donating any money that they gave to me for my birthday. Some people gave me cash in birthday cards, other people donated via the Facebook Fundraiser – raising £250 for Blythe House, which I was so pleased was £50 over my target!

‘The Hospice at Home service supported my Mum at home during the final week of her life back in 2017. When you’re caring for someone with dementia 24/7, there is no escape at all and it is so tough. The healthcare assistant took over when it was really needed – I couldn’t have done it without them.

‘We are all potential patients of Blythe House; you never know when you might need the services here. Everyone knows someone who has been affected by a life limiting illness or required hospice care, so it’s really good to support the hospice, and my little way to give something back.’

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Meet the team – Becca Gregory, fundraising manager

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Becca Gregory came to Blythe House Hospicecare in May 2018 as the fundraising and events co-ordinator, working to establish and organise mass participation events that have become popular dates in the hospice’s calendar including the Jingle Bell Jog and Glow Twilight Walk.

Becca – who holds a first-class honours degree in events management with tourism from Sheffield Hallam University – had previously worked in hospitality for seven years, organising weddings and corporate events.

Now, Becca, who lives in Buxton, is the fundraising manager at the hospice, and is  responsible for overseeing the whole team including colleagues in events, community and corporate fundraising, as well as legacy and regular giving.

Becca explains: ‘I was familiar with the work of Blythe House as I live locally and knew of people that had benefitted from the services. I was made aware of the job vacancy back in 2018 by one of my Mum’s close friends who is a healthcare assistant in the Hospice at Home team. Having worked in the private sector for my whole career, the opportunity to work for a local charity that was so well regarded in my community, and with events management being a huge passion of mine, I was excited to apply.

‘I started in my current role as fundraising manager in October 2021. This role is very different to that of events fundraiser, but there are also a lot of transferable skills. All members of the fundraising team are very passionate about their individual roles and it is a pleasure working with them to grow the income for the charity. The fundraising streams are varied and the office is always busy; plus we have support from some wonderful volunteers which we are extremely grateful for.

‘The hospice is a hugely rewarding place to work. Being able to see the difference that donations and fundraising makes to the support and care available to local people will always motivate and inspire me. Fundraising relies on support from both inside and outside of the organisation, and I feel very fortunate to be surrounded by fantastic colleagues, volunteers and donors who see the value of their support to the charity.

‘Every season is different in fundraising and there are so many events and campaigns that I love to be involved with throughout the year. I am very excited to see our community and corporate fundraising teams grow the Blythe House and Helen’s Trust Christmas Treecycle in January 2023; to help to continue to evolve our fundraising events, and to work with other hospice departments to highlight the value of in-memory and legacy giving to this local charity.

‘Outside of work, I have two young children who keep me very busy in my spare time. They love to hear about Blythe Bear and what they have been up to when out and about! I do also love keeping fit and enjoy starting my day with a 6am gym class.’

Find out more about fundraising for Blythe House and Helen’s Trust – and all the ways you could get involved.

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Meet the team – Clare Walker, clinical services manager

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Clare Walker joined Blythe House Hospicecare and Helen’s Trust as clinical services manager in July 2022, following in the footsteps of Shane O’Reilly, who moved to the hospice CEO role, following Janet Dunphy’s retirement.

Clare, from Yorkshire, explains more about her background and the things she has enjoyed most during her first few months at Blythe House and Helen’s Trust.

‘I have been in the NHS for over 20 years, working in acute, primary and community care as well as working for NHS England and in local health commissioning. I started as a bereavement advisor at a local hospital. Following several years of training where I gained my postgraduate diploma in Primary Care Mental Health, at the University of York, alongside working as a counsellor/therapist, I moved to Suffolk to manage a countywide primary care mental health service.

‘I was unfortunately made redundant following a merger but managed to get a post with Macmillan Cancer Support where I continued my work developing holistic care and support; this time for patients who were in remission from cancer. Following a move back up to Yorkshire, I worked at the Clinical Commissioning Group in Derbyshire for seven years where I commissioned community and end of life services, and latterly I managed the transition of Glossop health commissioning from Greater Manchester into Derbyshire. Because of this role, I was aware of the excellent services and support that Blythe House and Helen’s Trust offered.

‘When I saw the job advert for clinical services manager at the hospice, I knew I had to apply. Having worked closely with Janet [Dunphy, previous CEO, now retired] and Shane [O’Reilly, CEO and former clinical services manager], in the past, I was very aware of, and inspired by, the ethos of Blythe House and Helen’s Trust. Staff spoke very highly of the Hospice and how much they enjoyed being part of it; the compassion shown by all the staff was very evident and the feedback from people using the various services spoke for itself. Who wouldn’t want to work for an organisation that clearly put patients and their families at the very heart of its services?

‘My role as clinical services manager is to provide leadership and senior operational management for all the clinical services that the hospice offers, as well as leading on the development of clinical services to meet our new five-year strategy. My focus is therefore on delivering high-quality care to people who use our services, and making sure that we recruit and retain the highest calibre of people to deliver this care.

‘Blythe House and Helen’s Trust delivers support across North Derbyshire which includes the High Peak, Derbyshire Dales and North East Derbyshire, so I also work in partnership with other organisations as part of the Derbyshire-wide end of life strategy and the High Peak Place Alliance. This means that I can be part of a wider compassionate community, grow a workforce that is informed and skilled, and develop services that meet the needs of local people at the end of their life.

‘In my first few weeks here at the hospice, I have been meeting staff across all parts of the hospice. Teams don’t work in silos here, and it is evident how well the clinical, volunteering, fundraising and retail teams work together. However, there are always things we can do better so I have been talking to colleagues about what they do, how they do it and what they feel we can do to improve the care we provide. My colleagues have a wealth of knowledge and skills so I’m looking forward to tapping into this and working with them and those that use our services to develop our clinical workforce and service offers further.

‘Our new five-year clinical strategy is taking shape and I want to ensure that more people know about the work that Blythe House and Helen’s Trust does, and the people it supports. We don’t just support those who are right at the end of their life but also those who may have just been diagnosed with a life-limiting illness so I’m looking forward to supporting the clinical teams and our non-clinical colleagues in their endeavours to reach more people as early as possible.

‘In my personal life, I am married to Richard and we have two grown up children and a 13-year-old Staffordshire Bull Terrier, called Ted. In my spare time, I enjoy the outdoors for both exercise and relaxation. I belong to a woman’s group where we go walking, do boot camp, and I can occasionally be found running with them when I am injury free! I’m also a keen gardener and we’ve recently got interested in growing veggies and salads.’

Find out more about services at Blythe House and Helen’s Trust, how they could support you or a loved one.

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