Melvin Samuel, a retired risk and safety adviser, has attended the prostate cancer support group at Blythe House for over five years.

The 68 year old from Marple, explained: ‘I was 58 when I was diagnosed with prostate cancer. I had a summons for jury service and was concerned about frequents visit to the toilet. I visited my GP and a subsequent prostate-specific antigen test (known as a PSA test – an indicator of prostate cancer) and an examination, led to a referral to the hospital. Biopsies confirmed the presence of prostate cancer. I was very fit and had no previous symptoms, for example no back ache, no weight loss, or tiredness.

‘I opted for a prostatectomy, as there was cancer present in most of the prostate including a small amount of more advanced cancer. The surgery went well. I was cured, with a 95% chance of needing no further treatment for at least five years, and I returned to work. Two years later, my PSA levels began to rise, the cancer had returned. This produced a much greater shock than the initial diagnosis and the prognosis became much more uncertain. I retired from work; I knew that it was crucial to have further treatment immediately. I had 20 sessions of radiation, which reduced the PSA level. Due to the position of the cancer, my bladder neck had been damaged and I had to wait sometime after the radiation treatment before I could have an artificial sphincter fitted.

‘It was at this point that my mental health became as much an issue as my physical health. Though many men live a comparatively long time with prostate cancer, the course of the disease is uncertain. The treatments and outcomes are less well researched and can have unpleasant side effects. A friend of mine who had late stage prostate cancer told me about the local support group at Blythe House Hospicecare, and I subsequently attended my first meeting. I met the nurses who run the group, who encouraged me to self-refer to the hospice services. Once referred, I learnt more about the services available to me from the Community Hub. I did not realise the array of day services available to support my diagnosis.

‘Blythe House staff gave me skills to cope with the uncertainty of living with cancer and the side effects, through a package of courses, group meetings, counselling and associated treatments including acupuncture and physiotherapy.

‘For me, Blythe House was initially a sanctuary and then a place to meet people in a similar situation, and then being supported to move forward. The staff not only provide excellent care and support, but also can provide contemporary clinical advice and information, and can liaise with other clinical and social service providers.

‘The associated High Peak prostate cancer support group gave me a forum to discuss sometimes unpleasant, embarrassing symptoms and treatments, as well as keeping me informed of advances in treatment.

‘I would not have coped without Blythe House and by that I mean without all of the staff and volunteers. I would have needed much more high impact clinical interventions and would have made even greater demands of my family.

‘As my surgery initially went well and I felt reasonably self-sufficient, I did not seek any additional support. It was only after two years when the cancer returned that I knew I could no longer cope alone and I contacted Blythe House. I strongly believe that if I had made that contact earlier I would have been able to cope much better and recover a sense of well-being and a more balanced perspective much sooner. I continue to have contact with Blythe House via the support group, and I am greatly appreciative that the service is there if my cancer progresses or I become unable to cope.

‘I would advise anyone diagnosed with cancer or a life-limiting illness to contact Blythe House and relevant support groups as soon as possible.’

Find out more about the prostate cancer support group.

Learn more about day care services here at Blythe House.

Sophie Wheeldon started working at Blythe House Hospicecare and Helen’s Trust in January 2022, as our community fundraiser.

Her role sees her head out to towns and villages across the High Peak, Derbyshire Dales and North East Derbyshire, to meet hospice supporters who are raising money to fund vital services in our area. People might be hosting events, undertaking challenges, making things, housing a collection pot in their business, or generally helping to raise essential funds for, and awareness of, the charity.

Sophie had always thought how ‘lovely’ it would be to ‘give something back’ to the hospice, after she accessed services here back in 2017, following her diagnosis with cervical cancer.

Sophie, who’s from Harpur Hill, explained: ‘I was diagnosed in November 2016 with stage 1B1 cervical cancer* – I had no symptoms. I had been for my routine smear appointment at my GP, which detected abnormal cells, and so I was then asked to go for a colposcopy (a test to take a closer look at your cervix). Following this, the doctor who had done the test called me when I was at work. He told me I had cancer.

‘I was referred to the Royal Derby Hospital for further treatment. There, I was firstly given another colposcopy and following this, I was given a loop diathermy, which removes abnormal cells from the cervix. However, when my results came back, my consultant said that the margins were not clear enough so I would need to have surgery. My cancer was progressing quickly and so I had to make a decision immediately.

‘I was given two options: one, a full hysterectomy, or two, a radical trachelectomy (surgery to remove the cervix, nearby tissues and lymph nodes). The second option is a fertility sparing option; I was only 26 at the time and I had always known I wanted to have children, therefore I immediately dismissed the idea of a hysterectomy. I had no clue what the second option even was, so when it was explained to me, I decided that would be best.

‘I had my radical trachelectomy on the 1st of February 2017, I was in surgery for six hours with two surgeons. Following this I was in hospital for three days, luckily my lymph nodes came back clear whic

h meant I didn’t need to have chemo or radiotherapy. I also had multiple MRI scans before and after my surgery.

‘After my surgery and when I was out of hospital, my mum suggested finding out if Blythe House would be able to help and support me. Close family members and friends had use the services at the hospice, and my GP referred me. I started to attend in the April 2017 after I had time to recover from my operation and was able to drive and get around again.

‘I used to attend the day services at the hospice with lots of activities, art, crafts, painting, complementary therapies and counselling services. We also focused on meditation, which I found really helpful as I used to get very anxious whenever I had to return to Derby hospital for appointments. Blythe House helped me to learn techniques, which allowed me to stay calm and be kinder to myself.

‘I found my time at the hospice really helpful to have some “me time”, where I could chat with people in similar situations. All the staff were lovely, friendly and welcoming, and I made some great bonds with the people I met.

‘I have been cancer free for five years now! I have routine appointments with my consultant in Derby every six months; this will continue for the rest of my life, so they are keeping a close eye on me. I always said that if I could get just one person to go for their smear test by sharing my story, I will feel like something good has come from it all. I’ve always been very open about what I have been through as I think it’s really important that we encourage women to attend their smears; it could save their life… it saved mine. I’m very lucky to have had my little miracle boy, William, in May 2020, and I am forever grateful that due to the skills and expertise of the staff at Derby hospital, I was able to have him.

‘I had always kept an eye on Blythe House and had it in the back of my mind that I would love to work there. I was then pregnant and on maternity leave so it wasn’t the best time for a career change! Then when I had been back at work after having William, I saw a post on the website advertising for the community fundraiser role, and thought, “well that sounds like me! I could do that job!” I thought how lovely it would be to give something back to an organisation who helped me so much when I really needed it, how rewarding! So I went for it! I’m so glad that I did, I absolutely love my job.

‘I love that every day is different; you never know what might pop up. I love that I can help people and that people are so thankful to have us in the area, I also love being a bit daft which is helpful in my role; working with Blythe Bear (our hospice mascot), doing an abseil, climbing a mountain, stuffing 2,500 Easter chicks with Cadbury’s Creme Eggs, the list goes on. It’s so varied, the team is so lovely, friendly and you really feel like you’re part of something good.’

• Learn more about how Sophie could support you with your community fundraising event for Blythe House and Helen’s Trust. 
• Browse our current vacancies. 
• *In stage 1B1 the cancer is deeper than 5mm but no more than 2cm in size.

June was referred to Blythe House in June 2021, after she had developed peripheral neuropathy (nerve damage) in her hands and feet due to the course of chemotherapy to treat breast cancer. June attends Therapeutic Thursdays at the hospice and has received physio and occupational therapy.

The Buxworth resident said: ‘I cannot thank Blythe House enough for the support they have given me and my family. When I think back to last summer, where I was in a really tough place physically and mentally, effectively bed bound, to where I am now, it goes to show how essential Blythe House is as a local charity. Now I have more and more independence gained from the valuable support Blythe House gave to me.

‘I was diagnosed with breast cancer at the end of 2020. My course of treatment was chemotherapy. A common side effect to chemotherapy is losing your nerve sensitivity. I didn’t immediately have this side effect. I started getting the tingling sensation at around ten to 11 weeks of chemo. Within three weeks of the initial tingling sensation, I could no longer walk.

‘I got to the point where being stuck in my bedroom was leaving my mental health in a really bad place. My niece decided I needed additional help. I was receiving the necessary medication from the district nurses, but this was about gaining my independence back again. This is when we reached out to Blythe House for help.

‘When the Community Hub team visited me at my house, I had immediate trust with them. They were so kind and patient with me. I didn’t feel like the same person pre-chemotherapy treatment. I had lost a lot of weight from my cancer treatment and the nerve damage had left me with no strength.

‘There were immediate changes by the initial visit and assessment of my home; I was hopeful that they would be able to help. They sorted out equipment for me, so I could move around my house more easily and to support my carers. This was a huge change that enabled me to get out of my bedroom more easily. I was given an exercise programme which gave me the strength to eat my dinner myself.

‘When my physical strength improved, it meant that I could start going to events and seeing friends who I had sorely missed. When I could see the daily improvements from my physio and occupational therapy, I started thinking more about my self-care.

‘I now go to Therapeutic Thursdays at the hospice, which gives me a chance to meet other people who are going through something similar to me and gives my partner a break.’

Miriam Haddock, occupational therapist at Blythe House who has worked closely with June during her rehabilitation for the past year, added: ‘When we first met June back in the summer of 2021 we could see how physically and mentally her cancer treatment had affected her.

‘Our focus is “what matters to you”, and for June she no longer had her independence. She has done whatever we have asked and been so motivated. June is like a different person; so much more confident. Her mood has lifted, and she seems to be enjoying life much more.’

• Find out more about Therapeutic Thursdays at Blythe House.
• Occupational therapy.
• Physical therapy.

‘Without the hospice, I would not have survived. They helped me to keep my Dad in his own home; where he wanted to be, and that was the best thing I could have wished for.

‘I am so proud to plant a sunflower in memory of my beloved dad and step-mum – to honour their memories and to support the invaluable work of Blythe House and Helen’s Trust.’

Sandra, who is a district nurse with the Bakewell and Baslow Team for Derbyshire Community Health Services NHS Foundation Trust, regularly refers her own patients to our Hospice at Home service, for palliative and end of life care in their own homes.

The service has now been able to support Sandra’s own family, after supporting her step mother, Lillian to die peacefully at home in February 2021, and then to Sandra’s dad, John, before he sadly died in October.

Sandra, who’s from Youlgreave, said: ‘Lillian’s illness progressed very quickly – she became symptomatic in October 2020, and was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Lillian was a healthcare assistant during her career, so she knew what was coming; things really started to escalate from Christmas and she was in and out of hospital.

‘Prior to her illness, Lillian was Dad’s full-time support and they had been married for 23 years. As well as heart failure, Dad has also been diagnosed with kidney failure and he too, has had cancer in the past. Dad was very independent and could do a lot of things for himself, but Lillian would help him to dress and get him ready for bed. Sometimes during the night, Dad would wake up disorientated and Lillian was always there to say “go back to sleep, John.”

‘My husband and I moved in to support them both when Lillian became too unwell. Her illness was a huge shock to everyone as she was fiercely independent. During the last week of her life, I called upon Blythe House and Helen’s Trust to see if they could step in to provide night-time sits. The sits supported my husband and I to go back home and have a change of scenery, get a good nights’ rest and to enable me to cope with the day-time care for them both.

‘Lillian did have, what I would call, a “perfect death.” I am a big believer in having a good death, in my role as a district nurse. She looked beautiful; she wasn’t agitated or in pain. It was the best it could have been.

‘After Lillian died, Blythe House and Helen’s Trust started to provide respite night-time care for Dad. The night-time sits provided by the hospice helped me to have much-needed time out, go home, have a change of scenery and a full night’s sleep. The hospice team was so flexible; they always accommodated my working pattern and spaced out the sits depending on my shifts, so that I was not exhausted.

‘The continuity of care for Dad was just fantastic; all the healthcare assistants developed a therapeutic relationship with Dad and he enjoyed the rapport and their company. We also had support from a hospice community volunteer called Charlie. He visited to chat to Dad, or read to him. The visits gave me chance to go out and do shopping, walk Dad’s dog, Patch, or catch up with jobs at home; knowing Dad was in very safe hands.

‘In July, we went to Norfolk on a big family holiday – it was fantastic, and I will always treasure the measures. In September, Dad could no longer stand and I knew it was the beginning of the end for him. The whole family railed to support him. My sister and daughter, who are both nurses, and my stepsister, Marion (Lillian’s daughter), provided lots of support.

‘On the 1st of October, the Hospice at Home healthcare assistant, Kevin, called me at 6am and said that Dad’s breathing had changed. The whole family went to his bedside, where we chatted, reminisced and laughed. Later on, I said “come on Dad, go to sleep now.” He died peacefully in his own bed, surrounded by his family later that afternoon. I feel I did everything I could for him and I can live with myself that Dad had a good death.

‘Afterwards, we had a collection for Blythe House and Helen’s Trust at Dad’s funeral, and much of his home furniture and clothes went to the hospice’s charity shops. Without the hospice, I would not have survived. They helped me to keep my Dad in his own home; where he wanted to be, and that was the best thing I could have wished for.’

Dedicate a sunflower today.

Find out more about our Hospice at Home service and how it could support your family.

Learn more about supporting the hospice including donating to our local shops and organising a funeral collection in aid of Blythe House and Helen’s Trust.

Joy Stephenson’s husband, Chas started to attend Blythe House following his diagnosis with a rare form of blood cancer. Joy was also offered carers support from the hospice, before Chas sadly died in January 2021 after receiving Hospice at Home care.

Joy, from Hayfield, explains: ‘Chas and I met as students and our first date was when he asked me to go for a walk after dinner while we were on a geology field trip in Tenby – the rest is history as they say! We were 20, and married four years later in Aylesbury where we were both working and went on to have three lovely children. We later moved, first to Warwickshire and eventually in 1972, to High Peak, where we brought up our children and have lived here ever since. We celebrated our diamond wedding in April last year but sadly, Covid and Chas’ health problems, meant it was not the big family affair we would have hoped for. He was part of my life for more than 65 years – we couldn’t have dreamt all those years ago that we would be so fortunate.

‘Chas had a variety of apparently unrelated health problems over a period of several years before a routine blood test, ordered by his dermatologist, led to a diagnosis of myelodysplasia [a rare form of blood cancer] early in 2015, followed about three years later by a diagnosis of vascular dementia. The dementia diagnosis was surprising because he didn’t fit the normal profile of a sufferer – he didn’t smoke and was extremely fit and active – a long distance walker and fell runner. He was never happier than when he was out roaming over Kinder Scout and the wider Peak District. He was still walking long distances most days until about two years before he died – not being able to be out on the hills was so frustrating for him but he continued to walk locally most days for as long as he could.

‘Following the blood cancer diagnosis, Chas became increasingly transfusion dependent and any knocks which caused bleeding meant frequent trips to A&E for platelet transfusions to stop the bleeding. Eventually it became clear that he was not benefitting as much as he might from his blood transfusions but he needed to make the decision to stop for himself. I found it difficult to broach the question of when is enough, enough and he always sidestepped any attempts to discuss end of life care with me.

‘Two people came to the rescue: firstly the consultant at the hospital who was able to ask, and get a thoughtful response. He arranged for Chas to sign a ‘do not resuscitate’ DNR form, and then the wonderful Dr Sarah Parnacott who was able to have a good conversation with us and fill in a ReSPECT [Recommended Summary Plan for Emergency Care and Treatment] with him, with his end of life wishes clearly stated. Essentially, this meant being cared for, and dying, at home.

‘The hospital consultant made the referral to Blythe House; and then followed almost two years of what I can only describe as an amazing and wonderful partnership between us and the marvellous staff at the hospice. I won’t pretend that it was always easy – initially we weren’t sure what to expect and it isn’t easy handing over so much of your life to other people, and to allow them to take such an intimate part in your lives. However, we were immediately given a warm welcome. At the beginning, Chas was quite resistant to going: “I don’t see why I have to go there?” But, he always enjoyed his time there and I could have a few hours to myself knowing than he was such good hands.

‘One really good thing was the opportunity for him to spend some quality time in the company of other men and the chance for a good natter. Not only was Chas pampered, but my needs were also being cared for – a chance to talk about my worries and concerns, and the offer of complementary therapy, so I was able to have some relaxing pampering too. We very quickly came to realise that the whole ethos was to meet the needs of us both, and to anticipate when that help needed to be stepped up.

‘I think the most difficult thing was when to accept the offer for that support to come directly into the home. Inviting strangers into your home to take over much of the caring role was hard. On the one hand, I felt I was abdicating responsibility and I wasn’t sure what to expect. On the other hand, I was becoming exhausted and realised that I was struggling to cope. I shouldn’t have worried; the carers were so experienced and sensitive to our needs and they became welcome friends and always seemed to know exactly what was needed. More importantly, I came to understand and welcome their input, especially when they always seemed to know the right time to step up the amount of care we needed; I never needed to ask. Night care became the next issue, our nights were becoming increasingly disturbed and it was difficult to see how it would work, but of course, I shouldn’t have worried. At first, it was one or two nights a week but this gradually needed to be increased as Chas’ condition worsened and then we came to rely on it.

‘So what do the Hospice at Home healthcare assistants do? The answer is everything and anything that is going to help all the family. At its most basic, helping with washing, showering and dressing, and then helping to get ready for bed. But it becomes much more than that; applying ointments and creams, changing beds, dealing with washing, preparing food and then feeding if necessary.

‘Their advice becomes invaluable – especially on helping to adjust to a constantly changing situation and above all making sure that I was ok. This became an issue for us as I started to develop health problems of my own and they were there for me too. They delivered all this care with compassion, sheer hard work, friendship, love and, so often, much-needed good humour. Above all, they allowed Chas to maintain as much dignity as possible and to die at home surrounded by love with me and my daughter beside him.

‘Does this do them justice? Probably not! I can’t find the words to express what they meant to us. The family and I will never forget them, and will be forever in their debt. Thank you.’

Find out more about our services and how they could support your family.